A Letter to Bob, from the book:
Hey babe,
I’ve been wondering if this is some kind of karma? Is it possible that we have past lives and somehow the karma has to be balanced throughout lifetimes? Did I somehow deserve to have lost you?
Or not necessarily deserved, but needed to? What an odd thing to say, yes?
And possibly even using the phrase karma doesn’t fit…karma rather implies that I am to blame somehow for my situation, that I am taking away the so-called will of a God and implying that we are all responsible for our own situations. That is not what I am saying…
I am really just wondering if there is a purpose, somehow a divine plan for all the pain and suffering in the world.
Is it possible that we plan our lives before we come here and somehow you, or I, or our kids, have somehow all written this into our blueprint? What would the point of that be? Perhaps to learn lessons and grow spiritually. Perhaps things can only be learned here, or learned more quickly in the physical than on the other side.
It is hard not think “why us?” sometimes. But the real question would be “Why not?” Why not us…instead of someone else.
I remember being at the cancer centre, and having the oddest sense of déjà vu. Particularly one of the last times we were there, when we found out your tumour was growing and there was nothing more they could do. I felt as if I saw that moment from somewhere along time ago, as if I had already lived it before or knew it was coming. I felt it, for a split second, as completely recognizable. Rather like a signpost along a trail. I knew you were dying and that somehow it was supposed to happen. I can’t explain it anymore than that. Every piece of me wanted to believe otherwise, but it stared me in the face, and I knew it for what it was. Recognition.
Perhaps it is possible that we do plan these events, that somehow in the grand scheme of things, they all serve a purpose. That they all form together, patterns in an intricate design called life.
It’s nothing that people have not asked through time, I am sure. And it doesn’t make it any easier to explain your death.
Perhaps it’s just nice to think it’s not all in vain. That it is not all just for nothing.
There is no way your life here was for nothing. You were everything.
xo
I like this. I’ve written some posts about karma and the mechanics of karma on my blog SpiritualThemes. I believe in it. It seems to me that it’s God version of Toughlove.
When I compare the Hell of fire and brimstone I just laugh, but when I think of any of the things that I’ve done that hurt people and realize that I may have to experience that myself…..that really scares me. That would be Hell….or would it be God’s plan. Not that I’ve purposely set out to hurt people or that I’m a serial killer, I’m not. It’s just that I can’t bear the thought that I’ve been so bad, or selfish, mean or angry. On the other hand I know that I’ve done good. That I’m sincere and earnest with people and situations. There is some good in me after all.
I think I’ve written at least 3 posts on Karma and they can be accessed at
http://www.informationforager.wordpress.com
If any of this comment is not to your liking I didn’t mean to offend. Thanks. Keep Blogging. Keep Writing.
hello..
I really dont belevie in Karma… because many times we do things bad without meaning to hurt people..
and then we feel sorry and try to fix it…
I would tell you somthing about me… Im arabian women ( Im not very good in English)
I found your web by accident.. I was searching about apicture (leaf) in search web… then it was your blog… I read your story.. it was very sad.. I couldnt stop crying.. maybe because I meet many broblems in my life too! (who not)
I dont know if you belevie in coincidence.. I dont think that things happend just by chance…
I think you are a special and wise women… and you have beautiful childrens ( I have 2 boys and 1 girl)
may be we could meet in heaven… I hope..
always beleive that God is very merciful… and tomorrow will be better than today.. and one day we all will die and meet our God .and we will know the truth about our thoughts.
by the way Im a muslim… I hope if you could search about Islam… because you will find many answers to your questions .. and you could ask me what you want… with my love..
I am absolutely moved that you took the time to respond to my blog and you have no idea who I am. I also don’t think that things happen by chance. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for you wrote to me, I have no doubt that you are an amazing woman as well.
Thank you too, your respond very kind 🙂
I really think you are a very good person..
God bless you and your children and save you all
Actually, I’m not a woman. I’m a man. Also a husband and father. But….since I have a flower for my logo it can kind of look like that. The flower is actually showing the Fibonacci numbers(…God’s matrix) in plants. My other pictures in the Gravitar page also has other plants showing the Fibonacci number system.
Here’s some Fibonacci sites.
http://britton.disted.camosun.bc.ca/fibslide/jbfibslide.htm
http://www.textism.com/bucket/fib.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibonacci_number
God bless you. Have a great day.